How To Include Your Groom While Planning Your Wedding

groom being thrown in the air

There’s one thing said on nearly every wedding day time, and time, again. We all know it, so say it with me, “it’s all about the bride.” 
Everyone on a typical wedding day focuses on the bride’s needs, wants & actions. We do a dress reveal, everyone stops and stares as she walks down the aisle and guests swoon over every little detail she must’ve put together all herself. Why don’t we focus more on the groom, though? Is he merely an accessory to be toted around and told where to stand? Or is he a person with feelings and thoughts that should be focused on a little more during this shared occasion? We think the latter. 

To ensure you don’t leave your groom behind during this chaotic time, here are some quick ways to make sure you include him while planning your wedding.

1. Let your man pick out the tuxes.

Ladies, I know it’s hard- you’ve probably had the perfect color swatches picked out to match your bridesmaid’s dresses for months. When it comes down to it, we wouldn’t appreciate being told what to wear, so allowing your groom and his friends the opportunity to find suits better fitted to their style preferences will help both of you feel your most comfortable while standing at the alter. 

2. Find a photographer that focuses on the groom, too.

When finding your wedding photographer, ask to take a look through their portfolio to see if they have any photos featuring the groom. More often than not, many wedding photographers feature the bride at any chance they get (it’s a major selling-point) but rarely do you see a feature of their grooms.

Also, be certain to ask your photographer how they operate the day of your wedding. How much time do they spend with each of you separately? Do they take solo portraits of the groom, as well?

For example, if you have just me as your wedding photographer, I typically start out meeting with the bride. Then cut out some time to head over to the groom, given that you are getting ready in close proximity. If you’re getting ready in different locations, I always recommend going with my package with a second photographer, which allows us the opportunity to split our time up equally on the wedding day. This way, we’re able to have true full-coverage instead of 100 portraits of the bride, and 20 of the groom. Every photographer is different, though- so be sure to sort this out in the beginning.

3. Don't assume that he doesn't want to be involved.

I think a lot of newly engaged couples forget that social standards don’t have to be followed on your wedding day. It’s truly your day and you can do with it what you wish. Part of that is realizing that maybe your soon-to-be-husband actually wants to tag along with you while finalizing details. Invite him to try the cake, help him shop for ties for his groomsmen, get him involved with planning the engagement session, listen to his ideas about the music- all of this will help him feel like less of a stranger walking into your beautifully decorated reception space. 

4. Get him something special.

The days leading up to the wedding, the lucky couple is usually in the middle of quite a few parties. You have your engagement party, bachelorette party, couples shower, rehearsal dinner and then the wedding day itself. The gifts mostly revolve around furnishing your new home, but rarely do guys receive gifts that directly involve them. Find something special for your guy that can help him remember this day, too. Whether it be a cool watch, or his favorite whiskey, picking out something just for him is a sweet, and much appreciated, gesture. 

5. Find something for them to get interested in.

Is your groom dragging his feet or giving you the old “whatever you want, sweetie,” line? If you have a man that typically doesn’t have very much to say about planning your daily lives, chances are he’s not going to magically change for your wedding day, and this is okay. Instead of forcing him to pick out table runners with you, sit down with him and figure out what it is he can get excited about. Whether it’s his bachelor party or the socks he gets to wear- something is bound to pique his interest if you take the time to help him. 


When everything is all said, and done, you will remember very little about your day outside the photographs your wedding photographer provides you, and the memories you and your groom share together. Don’t stress yourself out trying to make it “just right.” If you & your man are happy, that’s all that matters in the long run. 

About Author

huy nguyen los angeles wedding photographer

Hi, I’m Huy! I’m a destination wedding photographer based in Los Angeles. I love sharing wedding planning tips inspired by my experiences shooting weddings. Happy to have you here!


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